\u201c…although we may have something unhealthy deep inside of us, those in whom Christ dwells also have something deeper. Something whole. Something so infinitely healthy that, if it would but invade the rest of us, we would be healed\u2026That, beloved, is our challenge. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God\u2019s truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we\u2019ll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
-excerpt taken from So Long Insecurity you\u2019ve been a bad friend to us by Beth Moore<\/em> I think most people have probably experienced the, \u201cplease, don\u2019t call on me<\/em>\u201d feeling. I know it well and felt \u201ccalled on\u201d most recently this summer. My husband was the deliverer of the news and, knowing me as he does, informed the caller that there was, \u201cno way she would do that!\u201d (the \u201cthat\u201d being to share my testimony in front of a large group of people). However, since my husband had already had the, no way is she going to do that reaction on my behalf, it was like I was freed up to consider (\u2014because the fact that I would never do something like that certainly needed to be said but since it already had been, it didn\u2019t have the same urgency to be restated by me \ud83d\ude0a). So, I did (consider, that is).<\/p>\n\n\n\n A couple of days later, I\u2019m in the car driving home from a yoga class when I turn the radio on and happen to catch the last third of a Focus on the Family interview with a woman speaking about finding healing and hope. The verse she shared less than a minute after I tune in was Revelation 12:11: \u201cThey overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.\u201d<\/em> Right then I knew, God was calling me to share, I would overcome by the word of my testimony; God did His part, and I needed to do mine. Over the next week this verse was put before me two more times\u2014definitely making it feel like a confirmation of the Word the Spirit was attempting to impress upon my heart. After that, I was cautiously excited to step out in obedience in an arena that I was not at all comfortable in (public speaking) but still felt like God wanted to use. Another point that the woman on the radio shared was that there are certain steps she encourages people to take in order to incite healing. She shared the first two which are 1) Tell your story<\/em> and 2) Share the Truth<\/em>. That is what I\u2019m attempting to do now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019ve struggled for much of my life with shame and deep-seated insecurity. I remember as a first or second grader not wanting to remove my sweater at recess because I had suddenly become self-conscious of the freckles on my arms. As for the origin of these faulty ways of thinking I can\u2019t point to much beyond my inherent sin nature. I came from a Christian home and don\u2019t remember a time when I didn\u2019t know Jesus. I remember feeling before it\u2019s like I don\u2019t have an \u201cexcuse\u201d for my brokenness and have often wished I had a more exciting\/dramatic testimony. In my heart I know that this is again a faulty way of thinking, because the Spirit can convey what He wants to through my story, in fact He\u2019s kind of authoring it\u2014who am I to call unfit what He deems fit? Really, this is just a posture of pride on my part (\u201c<\/em>Should the thing that was created say to the one who created it, \u2018Why have you made me like this?\u2019\u201d<\/em> Romans 9:20b).<\/p>\n\n\n\n A few years ago, I sought out counseling through our church. I was just feeling stuck in some negative patterns and ways of relating, primarily in my marriage. The counselor they paired me with helped open my eyes to a core lie I had been believing\u2014one I had held so close for so long that I didn\u2019t even see it until it was pointed out and literally spoken to my face–the lie was and is: \u201cYou\u2019re not enough<\/em>\u201d. You\u2019re not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough\u2026It was an insert adjective here kind of all-encompassing lie. Tears sprang to my eyes and I began to cry as she vocalized some of the deep hurt that I had been keeping inside. Since that day, I’ve begun to notice how prevalent this lie is! I am not alone. Satan uses it on so many people! How crucial it is for us to identify and uproot the lies that we\u2019ve been believing but just as important as removing is replacing. Replacing specifically with God\u2019s Truth. For me, this process involved identifying and writing out a list of lies that I\u2019d been believing and to find verses in the Bible that countered them. The first one I tackled was the lie, \u201cyou\u2019re not enough\u201d. But in Christ, I am, you are! And more than just \u201cenough\u201d 1 Peter 2:9 says: <\/sup><\/strong>\u201c<\/sup><\/em><\/strong>But you are a <\/em>chosen<\/em> people, a <\/em>royal<\/em> priesthood, a <\/em>holy<\/em> nation, God\u2019s <\/em>special<\/em> possession, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Another lie I had been believing is: who you really are is unlovely and unacceptable<\/em>\u2026One of the verses God gave me to counter this is especially precious as I would never have selected it on my own–it was His gift to me–one I still have trouble fully embracing at times. Song of Songs 4:7: You are altogether beautiful, my darling;<\/em> <\/em>there is no flaw in you.<\/em> When He first showed me this verse, I felt my spirit respond with seriously<\/em>? NO<\/em> flaw?? I mean you can look at someone and say they are \u201caltogether beautiful\u201d (defects and all kind of thing simply because you love them so much) but without flaw? That\u2019s just not realistic! And yet there the words stood and stand, and one thing I can say is that the Word is indeed without flaw. Therefore, what else but complete arrogance and pride would keep me from not embracing and accepting what the Eternal Word has spoken? Forgive me, Jesus. Give me Your eyes\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n From insecurity and shame my struggles kind of morphed into envy and comparison issues especially with my sisters. I carried these comparison issues into my marriage and for years they had been stealing my joy and doing harm to my relationships. The same counselor that God had used to enlighten me earlier, broached the idea of sharing my struggles with one of my sisters. However, I just felt so embarrassed. All the things I struggled with were so small and petty, and I didn\u2019t feel right about \u201cburdening\u201d her with \u201cmy issues\u201d. Maybe a year later I started going through a book on humility called, Humility: the beauty of holiness<\/em> with my husband who had just finished going through it himself with his mentor. As we read through and discussed the issues it brought up, I began to realize the role pride had been playing in my shame and insecurity issues and consequent struggle with envy and comparison. At first it seems counter-intuitive: why would thinking of myself as \u201cnot as good as\u201d be pride?<\/em> I think part of it is when I\u2019m comparing myself to other people, I\u2019m setting the bar by which I should be measured instead of God–it becomes all about me and what I think I want instead of trusting God\u2019s providence and goodness in my life. Our pastor always says, \u201cit\u2019s not about thinking less of yourself but rather thinking of yourself less\u201d. Through the humility study I was able to see what a stranglehold pride had over my life and knew that in faith I needed to move against it. So, I determined to meet up with my sister and confess how I had allowed my pride to enter in and negatively affect our relationship–it had been easier for me to just push away from her because I didn\u2019t like the feelings that got stirred up when we were together. Let me tell you, my flesh was so not excited to do this but, in my spirit, I felt moved to approach her like Job\u2019s friends did at the end of that story and, in humility, ask for her to pray for me. God\u2019s word to Job\u2019s friends was: \u201cMy servant Job will pray for you, and I will accept his prayer and not deal with you according to your folly.\u201d<\/em> I definitely needed that. So, I texted her and we arranged to meet for coffee after she got off work a couple days later. It ended up being a cloudy, drizzly day and I had been half looking around for a rainbow as some sort of sign but didn\u2019t spot any. We met up and chatted for an hour or so. I had written out a \u201cconfession\u201d letter I wanted to read but before I did, I visited the restroom to offer up a quick prayer. When I came out of the bathroom and started walking back over to where my sister was sitting I just remember seeing this wall of glass windows, a break in the clouds and there was my rainbow, spilling down out of the sky right as I sat down to totally humble myself in front of my sister. Isn\u2019t God cool?<\/em> From the history of the earth He has used His creation to encourage and uplift His people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The next thing I had written out to say was, \u201ceven though I got my rainbow, I still struggle and don\u2019t feel like I walk in total victory here or in any of the other areas that I\u2019ve shared about\u201d. However, when I humbled myself enough to let my husband pre-read my testimony before my initial large group sharing, he looked up at me and said, \u201cthat is not at all what I\u2019ve seen. Since that day you went and met with your sister there hasn\u2019t been one time where it has been apparent to me that this was still a struggle.\u201d I was floored that there had been such a marked improvement from his point of view and that I had been so blind to it! Of course, I still struggle with attitudes of the heart that are more subtle but it was so encouraging to hear that from his perspective there had been great progress and victory in this area of my life. I think Satan had even tried to steal this–and of course he\u2019s all about that, stealing glory and joy that aren\u2019t his. <\/p>\n\n\n\n A word I do feel like the Lord gave me in relation to what I expressed earlier, namely some level of frustration over not experiencing more freedom and victory in this area (maybe there is some pride here too, like \u201cI should be farther along than I am!\u201d), is found in Deuteronomy 7:21-23. Moses is speaking to the Israelites before they go in to possess the Promised Land and drive out the people that are currently living there:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDo not be terrified by them, for the Lord your God, who is among you, is a great and awesome God.<\/em> <\/sup><\/em><\/strong>The Lord your God will drive out those nations before you, little by little. You will not be allowed to eliminate them all at once, or the wild animals will multiply around you. But the Lord your God will deliver them over to you, throwing them into great confusion until they are destroyed.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n I need to trust my good Heavenly Father for the \u201clittle by little\u201d knowing that in His timing He will deliver me…I am being delivered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I knew this was clearly a word that the Spirit was speaking to me. And what a blessing that at some point I read on and discovered the answer to the \u201cwhy\u201d question that is begging to be voiced when it is stated that the Israelites (or in my case, me!) would \u201cnot be allowed to eliminate them all at once\u201d. Judges 2:22-23 and 3:2,4 says:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201c\u2018I did this to test Israel\u2014to see whether or not they would follow the ways of the Lord as their ancestors did.\u2019<\/em> <\/sup><\/em><\/strong>That is why the Lord left those nations in place. He did not quickly drive them out or allow Joshua to conquer them all\u2026He did this to teach warfare to generations of Israelites who had no experience in battle\u2026These people were left to test the Israelites\u2014to see whether they would obey the commands the Lord had given to their ancestors through Moses.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Hundreds of years later James would acknowledge the tremendous value that testing brings when he penned the words: \u201cConsider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,<\/em> <\/sup><\/em><\/strong>because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.\u201d<\/em> James 1:2-4<\/p>\n\n\n\n Recently I was reading in Joshua chapter 18 and verse 3 just jumped out at me. I think it\u2019s a good reflective question for us all to ask ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSo Joshua said to the Israelites: \u2018How long will you wait before you begin to take possession of the land that the Lord, the God of your ancestors, has given you?\u2019\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n So how long will you wait? Where has God promised victory in your life if you will but dare to step out in faith?<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201c<\/em>I will give you every place where you set your foot, as I promised Moses\u2026No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.\u201d<\/em> Joshua 1:3,5<\/p>\n\n\n\n And where has God given you victory already? Psalm 107:2 asks and then exhorts, \u201cHas the Lord redeemed you? Then speak out! Tell others He has redeemed you from your enemies.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n With whom is the Spirit prompting you to share the word of your testimony?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u201c…although we may have something unhealthy deep inside of us, those in whom Christ dwells also have something deeper. 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